How is your Nervous System?
Guest Post from SVWL Community Member, Danielle Sack.
Imagine for a moment that you’re driving a car. You drive fast on highways where the speed limit is higher and slower on residential roads. You slow down for turns and difficult weather, and speed up for straight aways and good weather. When your car needs fuel, you completely stop and give your car the resources it needs to refuel. If your car starts making funny sounds or producing odd smells, you stop driving and get it looked at, to be sure everything is okay and when necessary, get repairs done.
Your nervous system is a lot like driving a car. Anytime you hit the gas, it’s similar to activating your sympathetic nervous system (aka the "fight or flight" part), and pressing the brakes is activating the parasympathetic state (aka "rest and digest"). It’s a common misconception that the sympathetic side of the nervous system is just for "fighting for your life" situations. That's only a fraction of what it's for, as the sympathetic side allows you to take care of everything you do each day. It’s responsible for getting you out of bed, making breakfast, driving to work, etc. The sympathetic nervous system tells your body to do everything. When it’s time to stop doing things, the parasympathetic side of the nervous system takes over. Just like gas for moving, brakes for stopping. A well regulated nervous system will ebb and flow between the two states, providing the right amount of stress hormones to get you moving and doing things that ensure your survival (eating, moving, drinking, etc), but not so much that your body becomes overloaded.
Think about it this way - some days your schedule is packed with deadlines and meetings, so you’re moving at 80 MPH from morning to night. All gas, no brakes. Other days, you’re cruising leisurely through your day at an easy going pace, getting things done, but still enjoying yourself. Still some gas, but more a lazy drive through town than flying down the interstate. A healthy individual is able to do both of these situations. Turning into go mode when it’s necessary, but also turning down the intensity or turning off completely.
Here’s where we run into trouble. If you’re hitting the gas hard in your life for too long, eventually it becomes impossible to apply the brakes. You get stuck in the fast paced mode where you can no longer give yourself a break or a pause. Stopping to take a few breaths feels impossible, as you can't even imagine what slowing down feels like. You reach the point where your only two modes are fast or faster. And just like any car that gets driven too hard for too long, you breakdown. This is where disease or burnout shows up, as your exhausted nervous system and body can no longer protect the body from the amount of stress placed on it. No matter what, your body will eventually force you to rest. Getting stuck in that sympathetic state is often referred to as being dysregulated.
What Does Dysregulation Look Like?
Dysregulation is a little different for everyone, but there are some common signs of a system in distress. It can feel like you’re always a step behind, you’re quick to react, get upset by very small things, stress easily, constantly pile more on your plate, and struggle to be present in the moment.
Dysregulation is going for a walk with no real immediate plans afterwards, but still feeling the need to rush to get back.
It’s getting angry because you have to sit in traffic, when there’s really nothing you can do about traffic.
It’s feeling so overwhelmed with your workload that you don’t even get started.
When you're dysregulated your body is constantly preparing to protect itself from danger by sending stress hormones, increasing your heart rate, dilating your pupils, and making you breathe harder. It's necessary during times of extreme danger, but counterproductive when it's in response to everyday stimulus.
How Do I Get Back?
You might be reading this and thinking, how on earth did I get here or beating yourself up for letting it get this bad. Or perhaps you're so stressed and dysregulated you skipped to this section because you thought "I don't have time for the details, just tell me what to do"! I want you to think more about how you’ll get back. You don’t have to be a blissed out hippie wearing a positive vibes only tank top, but you do need to give yourself some time to recenter.
Here are 5 things you can do right now to get yourself back to ease off the gas and use the brakes:
Reduce what’s on your plate. Look at what you currently need to do today. I can assure you not all of it is as important as you think it is. Marie Kondo your to-do list. Does it spark joy (or have an immediate/serious consequence if not handled)? If not, it can wait. It’s not as important as your own mental health.
Find some quiet. Your parasympathetic system loves quiet. Quiet mind, quiet room, everything quiet. You might be thinking “NO I can’t quiet my mind”. Great! You already know the starting point. You can’t quiet your mind yet, getting there starts with you making the CHOICE to quiet your mind. Start with 30 seconds. Hard? Do it again. Easy? Try for 1 minute.
Pick 1 quiet activity to do for a little while each day. Maybe it’s a puzzle, or a very pointless, but entertaining book (not a business/self-help book, tv show or doom scrolling!). Are you active? Try a walk without a podcast, just listen to the sounds of the environment.
Create whitespace in your life. We used to have breaks throughout our day all the time. Red light? No choice but to sit and wait for green. In line? All you can do is stare at the back of the person’s head who is in front of you. Waiting to pick up your kid? All you can do is wait and watch for them. Now we fill all of that time with our phones. We’re making lists, replying to emails, doom scrolling, etc. We literally never allow ourselves the opportunity to just simply stop and take a break. Whenever you’re just waiting for something, resist the temptation to whip out your phone. Allow yourself to just sit and wait without entertainment.
Take 3 breaths. Can you stop before jumping into any activity and just take 3 deep belly breaths? Can you really truly stay with all 3 breaths and savor them?
If this resonated with you but you want to learn more and perhaps get some assistance getting out of "Go Mode", I'm here to help. This is what yoga therapy is all about - using breath and movement to free ourselves from the sources of pain and dysregulation. When you’re ready to dive in deeper and learn to ease off the gas, contact me! I’m here to help you use yoga therapy to reduce your risk of burnout and get back to a healthier, happier, more rested version of yourself.
Danielle Sack is Snoqualmie Valley’s go to person for all things stress and chronic pain. Whether you're on the verge of burnout or just looking to add small bits of bliss into your day, she is there to support you. She offers an accessible and approachable way of practicing yoga that's centered around the nervous system and supporting you, rather than asking you to accomplish gymnastics level stretches. It doesn't matter if you want to work one on one or in a group setting, she has you covered.
Additional Resources: With Love Yoga and Stressed out Moms Club (including Danielle’s free Stressed out Moms Club E-book).